Ralph Melton (ralphmelton) wrote,
Ralph Melton

Silly Wizards

This random tavern generator from Wizards of the Coast is just silly.

Check out this tavern it generated:

Tavern Name: Lonesome Gargoyle
Bartender: Male half-orc, 9th-level ranger
Interesting Clientele: Gang of half-orc street toughs, adventurers planing their next move.
Rumors Overheard: An evil wizard has developed a new type of golem. A druid needs help defending her grove against goblins.
Accommodations: Noble (a large private room with large bed, private bath with hot water on request, snacks on request, and private chamber pot in a separate chamber) for 1 gp/day
Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Fried perch, Chicken eggs, Dragon turtle omelet, Apple, Flatbread (cost 1gp).

Lunch: Triceratops steak, Curds, Carrots, Dates (cost 2gp).

Supper: Whole duck, Lentils, Turnips, Rice, Berry pie (cost 2gp).

Snack: Soft cheese, Sea-grapes, Coarse rye bread (cost 8sp).

In case it's not obvious, let me point out a few odd things:

- this tavern is run by a 9th-level ranger. A city of 5-12,000 people might have one or two 9th-level rangers. Doesn't this ranger have something better to do?
- Look at the menu. If you're able to serve real dragon turtle omelets and triceratops steak, you're not going to price it at the same price as 'whole duck'.
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