Laura's opinion seems to have been that this application is a particularly bad and botched use of MSVC. Heh.
Her help was particularly cool because I mentored her with C++ when she'd first come to Pittsburgh, and now she was helping me with MFC. I half-expected her to say, "Once I was the pupil, but now I have surpassed you." It's probably just as well that she did not, though.
Thanks so much, Laura.